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Then again, maybe if I had a partner dressed like those ballroom dancers you see on television it might be a different story. We paid our dues after listening to a fifteen minute speech by the instructor and headed home. Our classes were to take place every Tuesday night at eight. I had mixed emotions as I drove home that night. For the most part I felt that I really could not make too much of a fool out of myself surrounded by other beginners, yet I still had my reservations. When Tuesday night finally arrived, Lynn and I drove the twenty minutes to the local dance studio. Lynn was much more excited about the whole thing than I was. It would be more accurate to say I was more nervous than excited, though I somehow resisted the temptation to stop at a bar for a few drinks to calm my nerves along the way. After parking the car we made our way into the dance studio. We were about ten minutes early when we made our way into the big room. It was a sparse room with few adornments other. For some reason this caught my attention, but it appeared that on this bright morning my brain, which was usually at its best early in the morning, wasn’t fully engaged. It wasn’t until I really looked at the sunlight reflecting off the cheap wood grained paneling on the wall that I realized that something was seriously wrong.The jolt of adrenaline that I got from seeing cheesy paneling where there should have been cheesy wallpaper — that wallpaper was on our list to replace, real soon now — finished the process of waking me up, which brought the squeaking bed back for my consideration. Our bed didn’t squeak. It didn’t have any metal parts to make those sorts of noises. I felt a bit like Arthur Dent looking in his mirror and remarking on the word ‘yellow’ — there was something kicking around in my head trying to get my attention but it hadn’t gotten the synapses lined up to do the job. At least it hadn’t until I rolled over to ask Cathy what was going on.I barely bit back a scream. I.
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